


Before You Go

by EmThePlant (Dollface_AnonymousAngel)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, What's Canon? We don't know her, hey look there's a happy ending, let's be real they're probably OOC, this was kind of a song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:27:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dollface_AnonymousAngel/pseuds/EmThePlant
Summary: this is my first fic in 6 years y'all.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	Before You Go

Dean missed Cas. Castiel. Castiel James Novak.

It had been exactly three years and twenty seven days since that fight ended what Dean was maybe a _little_ too anxious to label, what they had between them. He wouldn't call it love. It wasn't love. You didn't fight like that with someone you loved... right?

He could recall the last words spoken between them.

_Maybe we should go our separate ways. Clearly whatever this is, isn't working out. We just want different things in life._

Cas wanted to settle down. Wanted to start a life, maybe have their own little family. Dean wasn't sure he was ready for that, wasn't sure he wanted a family.

Sometimes, Dean could convince himself he hated Castiel. Hated him for ending what they had, for wanting to settle down, for leaving. But really, Dean could never keep himself convinced for too long. He didn't hate Cas, he couldn't hate him. It wasn't possible. But that fight, those last words, they echoed in his ears late at night after one too many drinks, and the mornings after were filled with the words Dean should have said.

_Don't go. I don't want anything but you._

In those three years, the words never changed. Dean never wanted anything that wasn't Cas. Never wanted anything else.

-

Cas was hurting. He wanted to dial a number he knew by heart, wanted to call and apologize. Ask if he could come home.

It was funny, how the apartment he lived in now was never home. Wherever Dean was, that would always be home. It had been three years, and thirty six days since he had left. Somedays, he swore it felt like he was forgetting how it felt to love Dean Winchester. For months, before their relationship had ended, he carried a ring in his pocket. But it was never the right time to ask, never the right moment. Dean was constantly weathering a storm just under the surface, constantly at war with his mind in ways Cas would probably never know, and until the storm would be at ease Cas could never say it was the right time to ask.

Sometimes, Cas blamed himself. He had too many walls up, he had too many things he wanted to say first before those walls came down. It was never enough, time couldn't heal it fast enough, and Cas never had the words to say that would make it all better. He figured, he'd probably never know if those walls coming down would have left them better off.

He wanted to blame Dean, wanted to hate Dean, but he was kidding himself if he tried to do anything but love that man with his entire being.

Maybe calling him wouldn't be a bad idea. Three years was enough time to heal the worst of it, right? There was really only one way to find out.  
-  
Three years and forty five days. That's how long it took Dean to gather the courage to call Cas first.

He apologized instead of saying hello.

"Cas, I'm sorry. I should have never let you leave."

The silence on the other end of the line was going to kill him.

"I'm sorry too."

Dean swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Cas' voice hadn't changed a bit.

"Can we meet? For lunch?"

And so, their first date in three years. Lunch. Dean could handle that, could handle lunch. It would be a good fresh start.

The morning of, he lost his phone then his keys then his phone. Again. The universe had to be telling him something. Had to be.

Too bad Dean wasn't about to let anything stop him from seeing Cas again.

-

The green of Dean's eyes took Castiel's breath away, like always. Lunch went.... lunch was interesting. There wasn't any other way to describe it, because it wasn't a disaster. Burgers had seemed like a good idea at first, but the place they picked only had outdoor seating. Which meant birds were eyeing their fries like thieves planning a way to claim their next prize. Cas pitied whoever, or whatever, was foolish enough to try and steal food from Dean though. The defensive way he sat left no possibility for fry theft. It did, however, leave room for the back of his neck to burn. And oh, how it burned with the way they laughed their way through three hours of pretending to pick at their left over, droopy sad fries.

Lunch began with hesitant smiles and repeated apologies, and ended with the promise of another date and one last round of gut-busting laughter as they shared another joke.  
-  
After six weeks of dating, Cas found a key had been slipped into his jacket. A familiar, green painted key.

His house key.

Two more weeks, and Cas was living more at Dean's house than his own apartment. It was almost how it used to be, but better. Dean wasn't weathering a storm. Cas didn't know what had changed, but Dean wasn't weathering that damn storm anymore and Cas was so happy that he could burst.

By the time Cas had fully moved back in with Dean, into their house, his lease was up on the apartment. Which, Cas didn't really mind. He hated the apartment that never felt like home, because Dean wasn't there. They could live in a cardboard box, and it would feel like home as long as Dean was there. When Cas shared that with Dean, he didn't miss the way those green eyes sparkled and the shy grin that teased at the corners of Dean's lips.

Cas was determined to do things right this time. He wasn't going to wait for the right time, he would make the time he chose be the right time.

Of course, the fact that Cas waited another two years was absolutely planned. He'd insist on it, if anybody asked. Cas didn't get down on one knee to ask, he didn't even really plan on asking. Dean had come home from work early and before Cas knew it, he was asking those four words sleepily, wrapped in Dean's arms and yawning., still in bed. Dean's shocked laugh, breathless yes, and joking 'damn you beat me to it' felt like a dream, and Cas thought it was a dream after he had woken up. Until he saw the ring on Dean's finger.

Things would go their way this time, he just knew it.


End file.
